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I am a Roman Catholic convert from Protestantism. My wonderful wife Tenille and I live in Louisville, Ky., with our daughter Esther, and two sons, William and Ezra. We attend Mass at the beautiful St. Martin of Tours Catholic Church on Broadway Street.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

First Sunday Of Advent

We were a little late getting to Mass this past Sunday. Something about having a baby makes timing a little challenging sometimes.... Anyway, for that or some other reason I found myself having a difficult time concentrating, keeping focused, being internally still. And it was the first Sunday of Advent, which is all about waiting, preparing, and expecting; three things I wasn't really accomplishing at the time. I did get most of Father's homily though, in part of which he discussed the change of mood or understanding of Advent over the years. It used to be that Advent was a sacrificial, penitential time of preparation with fasting and self-denial, much like Lent a little later in the Church year. Now the Church views it more as a time of joyful expectation, awaiting the coming Messiah at Christmastime. More positive, less fasting. I don't know why the Church changed this, maybe She knew that two periods of sacrifice and self-denial a year were too much for most of us weak children. Or maybe She understands that while the old pagan world awaited its Savior with sorrow and despair, we now await the coming of our Lord with joy and longing.

Well, whatever the case may be, I kept paying more attention to my surroundings than to the Messiah, and I happened to notice someone who arrived even later than we did. A tall, middle-aged man, with thick glasses, a brown overcoat, and wildly disheveled hair strolled up the aisle and plopped down in a pew near ours. He had a homeless air about him, and he didn't genuflect before sitting down. So I figured he wasn't a Catholic. Just some bum off the streets. I won't say I judged him, but maybe I should have been more concerned with my wandering attention than with his failure to genuflect.

I noticed the nervous, seemingly uncontrollable actions of his hands that hinted at some mental handicap. He took off his overcoat and tossed it carelessly in the seat beside him. Underneath, I now saw he was wearing an old, brownish sweater. On his back still clung two fresh green leaves, probably left over from sleeping in some ditch or yard the night before. They had a certain beauty and incongruity about them that immediately arrested my attention.

My wife, daughter, and I attend St. Martin of Tours off Broadway Street in Louisville. It holds the distinction of being the only church in the area to remain open twenty-four/seven, and to have a perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Chapel. It is also located in a less than desirable section of town. For both of these reasons the church is constantly manned by a security guard and cameras. I guess the homeless gentleman had arrested the attention of the security guard as well, for I saw the guard come walking up the aisle a few minutes later. I don't know the guard's name, but I'll call him Joe for now. Partly for ease of writing, and partly because of some stereotypical prejudice in my mind that makes me think that all aging, part-time security guards at Catholic Churches should be called Joe....

Homeless people like St. Martin's, and I found it kind of beautiful that the man with the leaves was sitting there, but I suspect that Joe was worried that he might disrupt the congregation after Mass. Maybe ask for money or something. I have heard that Pope John Paul II said that we are all beggars, but I would agree that there is a need for order and propriety where the Divine Liturgy is concerned. Joe squatted down beside him and spoke to him in hushed tones for a couple of moments. The homeless man mumbled something inaudible in reply, while the nervous fingers gestured to the front, to the Altar and the Priest, as if to say "I'm here for this." And apparently he was, which from my perspective made me happy. I don't know that man's soul, or what he has been through, or what may have made him the way he is. I do know that the Church teaches us that the mentally handicapped are usually innocent of grave sins, due to a lack of free will and understanding. I am often moved when I see a handicapped person receive our Lord in Communion, for I know that they are innocently held in a Grace that carries them like a child through this "vale of tears." Sometimes it's easy to assume that our knowledge makes us superior, that we have somehow made ourselves worthy of God. But just as an unknowing child is freely given milk by its mother, so too God freely feeds the wounded and the handicapped.

When the time came to go forward to receive to the Eucharist, the homeless man's body language indicated that he would like to enter the line in which I stood. I paused to let him go in front, and all the way up the aisle I saw those two green leaves shining between his shoulder blades. Maybe you will think of fig leaves, but God knows that our own attempts to cover up our sins and sicknesses long ago withered and turned brown. We are all in need of healing, spiritually and mentally. Even our handicaps are but another consequence of the Fall. A sick and broken people we stand in line to receive the "medicine of immortality." The homeless man's apparent ease and familiarity convinced me that he was, indeed, a Catholic. He received the Sacred Host, placed it in his mouth, rammed his hands in his pockets, and strolled back to his pew.

Maybe he shows us a little of what we cannot see about ourselves. That we are homeless; that we are wounded; that we even sometimes smell. Maybe this is what we have been waiting for: healing. Maybe there is an Advent lesson here. We wait for, and we long for our Savior, our Healer. We wait for Messiah to deliver us from bondage and brokenness. I am thinking now of Revelation, where we see the trees of life planted on either side of the great river. And "...their leaves shall be for the healing of nations." And so this Advent we await the coming of the true Tree of Life, Whose leaves do not cover up our nakedness, but rather take away its shame. Even so, come Lord Jesus, come Tree of Life, whose leaves shall be for healing; for our healing and for that of all the nations.

I hope I shall see that man again. If not now, then after. If not here, then on the Other Side.
Meanwhile we wait.

5 comments:

Ben Carmack said...

Hi Isaac.

Back when I was seriously considering joining the Catholic Church, I attended Mass a few times at my local parish. I wonder if the congregants there thought I may have been a homeless onlooker, as I have long shaggy hair, a beard, look unkempt most of the time and didn't genuflect.

"Who IS this guy?"

Thankfully no one came up and talked to me, and no one went out of their way to make feel awkwardly "welcome" either. For all the stereotypes about Catholics worshipping Mary, slavishly obeying the Pope and firmly trusting in salvation by works, Jesus is remarkably central to the Mass, much more so, I would argue, than He is in most Protestant services.

While many of the congregants didn't display appropriate reverence, more than a few did. People were quiet. Some prayed. A few knelt. It was if this were, you know, a church and maybe you should, you know, give Jesus some respect. A novel concept from my theological neck of the woods.

The Church experience for many in Protestant America has become a social function, rather than a place where we literally commune with Jesus, each other and the saints of long ago.

Part of me misses this and wishes more of my fellow Protestants hadn't thrown so much baby out when they rightly threw out Rome's bathwater. We could all stand a lot more reverence, a more beggarly attitude toward our worship.

Robert Heid said...

Interesting that the man knew -- "instinctively," we might say, though not of course instinctively -- that here was the Food that he wanted and needed.

Isaac Fox said...

Ben,
Welcome, and thanks for your comments! I couldn't agree more about reverence. Reverence does seem to be a hallmark of most Catholic Churches, though it may be found wanting in some post-Vatican II parishes. One of the things I truly love about St. Martin's, which is still a very conservative church. Not a lot of chatting and hanging out upon arrival; for most parishoners it's straight for the kneelers and quiet prayer. Respecting the Real Presence. Preparing the soul for the Eucharistic Banquet. I think that a clearer Faith of God's Presence with us (at all times) would change a lot of our behavior. If we really knew, if we really saw, we might walk a little more humbly.
My time for writing is a bit limited at present, but I hope to have another post up soon. Your comments, thoughts, and suggestions will always be appreciated.

Isaac Fox said...

Robert,
"...wanted and needed...", I like that. Since the Fall, we have all become disordered in our desires, and too often want what we do not need, and need what we do not want. Look at the People following Moses, who loathed the Manna.
While pursuing what we need, regardless of our desires, may be the opportunity for the development of great virtue, I think we can safely pray that God grant us the Grace to always want the Food we truly need.

Matt Harris said...

I very much agree with the comments about reverence, & about how nice it is to see the level of reverence typically shown at St Martin. I'm not a member there, but I visit that church often, partly because I work 3rd shift & it's always open. According to a parishoner, few people are aware that a priest hears confessions there on Saturday mornings, at 6:45 (not a convenient time, even if more people were aware). It happens to usually work out just right with my Friday night work schedule. My first time there for confession was intimidating, at first, because of the general mood of the place, & because the priest is very old & does almost everything in Latin. The priest in the confessional (I wish I knew his name), however, turned out to be very gentle & encouraging. I've been there many times since, & every time, part of me wants to walk around the grille and give the priest a hug. This all brings me back to the talk about reverence...that people like this priest, & others at St Martin, understand that God deserves that level of reverence, not because of the fear that He inspires, but because of His gentle love & mercy toward us.